Dating A Self Proclaimed Nice Guy

She looked me straight in the eye and said... “You’re too nice”.  Damn, how could I answer that one?  I’ll admit that I treated her well, (I guess too well), brought her flowers, opened the door, pulled out her chair, hey I’m old school.  But then I learned how to treat a woman from my dad, and he was attentive and affectionate to my mom, and she liked it, and we had a great family, so I’m not going to change, that’s how I was brought up.  But is it true that nice guys finish last?

Now some women, so I’m told, seem to like bad boys, it’s all over the tube, and maybe it’s true.  Of course what does being a bad boy actually mean, does it equate to being a jerk?  Is that what women want, hmmmm don’t think so, but I could be wrong.  So I decided I’d ask some women what exactly makes a nice guy nice, and it is it the wrong thing to do, the wrong way to act, etc.

Well, once I got them talking (no easy task, me being a male) they started discussing what exactly makes a nice guy nice; is it...

• Holding open a door?
• Buying flowers for his girl?
• Remembering to call her?
• Share common interests?

Well one thing that seemed to be very important is whether he was actually doing these things from his heart, or just doing them believing that was what she wanted and/or possibly because he WANTS her... guys that IS a BIG difference.  Seems that if he’s acting like Mr. Nice Guy to score points (or just score) he’s probably not going to make it second base... maybe not even first.

Another girl mentioned some guy she dated acting VERY nice, but when she didn’t respond quick enough, his charade quickly turned to anger and he gave her the old.... “Put out or get out” line (or words to that effect).

One thing that IS certain is that women like a man who is sure of himself, someone who knows his own true heart and how nice he actually is; then as they get to know one another his personality (nice things included) shows itself over time and doesn’t seemed forced.  In essence he isn’t trying to prove he’s a good guy, he simply is.

In this day and age, if you’re doing something (being nice) and it seemed forced (play acting) there’s every chance you’re going to get called on it, maybe not verbally, possibly just by the girl not reciprocating your attentions, not returning your calls, etc., it’s a trust issue.  Most women (unless it’s late night at the singles bar) take some time to open up and feel comfortable with a guy.  What’s great is when you have a girl that feels open enough with you, where she WANTS to make nice... she wants you to feel good about the way she is treating you.  Find that and you’ve got a gem.

Unless you know the score (or download the book) don’t try to be something you’re not (certainly not someone who claims to be a nice guy); girls usually will think you’re being manipulative and acting that way to get something (heh, heh) or simply to get on their good sides.  In other words, don’t put on an act, just act naturally (do brush your teeth though).